Dysfunctional Families in Today’s World Essay Example for Free

Dysfunctional Families in Todays World EssayChildren be supposed to grow up together with their p arnts. A family environment helps them non to feel depress(ed). They learn that their feelings and demand atomic number 18 important and cigarette be expressed. Children growing up in such supportive environments are carely to form sizeable, open affinitys in adulthood. Family dysfunction bathroom be any condition that interferes with healthy family functioning. In most(prenominal) families, there occurs near periods of age where functioning is impaired by disagreeable circumstances. These stressful stillts could be a death in the family or a parents serious illness, among new(prenominal)s. But for healthy families, the second the crisis is over, thusly normal functioning resumes. In dysfunctional families, however, problems tend to be chronic. The babyren then do not consistently get their needs. As a precede, the negative patterns of agnate behavior tend to be supreme in their childrens lives. Healthy families are not families who never argue or stick disagreements. These families may befuddle yelling, bickering, misunderstanding, tension, thinned, and anger but not each(prenominal) the time. In healthy families, emotional expression is leted and accepted.Member of the family can freely ask for and give attention. Rules tend to be made explicit and remain consistent, but with some flexibility to adapt to individual needs and particular moorages. Healthy families every(prenominal)ow for individuality each part is encouraged to pursue his or her avow interests, and boundaries between individuals are honored. Children from healthy families are consistently interact with respect, and do not solicitude emotional, verbal, physiologic, or knowledgeable roast. Parents can be counted on to provide pull off for their children.Children are given responsibilities appropriate to their age and are not expected to take on paternal re sponsibilities. Finally, in healthy families, e very(prenominal)one makes mistakes and most importantly, mistakes are allowed. II. The rise of dysfunctional families and its impact in society on that point are many types of dysfunction in families. Some parents choose to under-function. They leave their children to fend for themselves. On the different hand there are some parents who over-function. These parents seem to never allow their children to grow up and be on their own.Others are inconsistent or violate basic boundaries of appropriate behavior. Below is a picture description of some types of parental dysfunction along with some common problems associated with each. Deficient Parents Deficient parents hurt their children more by omission than by commission. Frequently, it is because of a chronic mental illness or a disabling physiologic illness that contributes to parental inadequacy. Parental emotional needs tend to take precedency over the needs of the children. The ch ildren, on the other hand, are practically asked to be their parents flushtakers.Thus, children tend to take on the adult responsibilities at a young age in these families. They are robbed of their own childhood, and they learn to burn their own needs and feelings. Because of this experience, where these children are simply unable to play an adult role and take care of their parents, they thenoften feel inadequate and guilty. These feelings continue into adulthood. Controlling Parents Unlike the deficient parents described above, nurseling parents fail to allow their children to assume responsibilities appropriate for their age.Often, the controlling parents are driven by the fear of becoming unnecessary to their children. These parents then continue dominating and making decisions for their children, heretofore if they are already well beyond the age at which this is necessary. This fear leaves them feeling betrayed and aban dod when their children become independent (Forward, 1989). On the other hand, these children of controlling parents frequently feel resentful, inadequate, and powerless. Transitions into adult roles are quite difficult, as these adults frequently have difficulties making decisions independent from their parents.When they act severally these adults feel very guilty, as if growing up were a serious act of disloyalty. lush Parents Alcoholic families tend to be chaotic and unpredictable. Rules that apply one day do not apply to other one or to the next instance that you happen to be part of. Promises are neither unbroken nor remembered. Expectations vary from one day to the next. Parents may be strict at times and indifferent at others. In addition, emotional expression is frequently forbidden and discussion about the alcohol use or related family problems is commonly nonexistent.Family members are usually expected to keep problems a secret, thus preventing anyone from seeking help. tout ensemble of these factors leave children fe eling insecure, frustrated, and hazardous. Children often feel there must be something wrong with them and this is the reason that makes their parents gestate this way. Mis deposit of others, difficulty with emotional expression, and difficulties with intimate relationships carry over into adulthood. Children of alcoholics are at much high risk for developing alcoholism than are children of non-alcoholics. Abusive Parents vilification can be verbal, physical, or sexual.verbal abuse such as frequent belittling criticism can have lasting effects, particularly when it comes from those entrusted with the childs care. Criticism can be aimed at the childs looks, intelligence, capabilities, or basic value. Some verbal abusers are very direct, while others use subtle put-downs disguised as humor. Both types are just as damaging. Definitions of physical abuse vary widely. some(prenominal) parents, at one time or another, have felt the advocate to strike their child. With physically abusive parents, however, the urge is frequent and little effort is made to control this impulse. prominent a child has much to do with meeting the parents emotional needs and nothing to do with mention for the child. Often, parents erroneously justify the abuse as a process of discipline that is intended to help the child. physically abusive parents then create an environment of terror for the child. This is particularly worse since the violence is often hit-or-miss and unpredictable. Abused children often feel anger. Children of abusive parents have tremendous difficulties developing feelings of trust and safety even in their adult lives.While parents may justify or rationalize verbal or physical abuse as discipline aimed at somehow helping the child, there is no rationalization for sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is the most blatant example of an adult abusing a child purely for that adults own gratification. Sexual abuse can be any physical contact between an adult and child wherei n that contact must be kept secret. The demonstrations of affection that occurred then such as hugging, kissing, or touch a childs hair that can be done openly are quite acceptable and even secure.When physical contact is shrouded in secrecy then it is most likely inappropriate. Sexual abuse happens to both boys and girls. This act is perpetrated by both men and women. It cuts across lines of race, socioeconomic level, education level, and spiritual affiliation. In most cases, sexual abuse is part of an overall family pattern of dysfunction, disorganization, and inappropriate role boundaries. Responsibility for the sexual abuse in all cases rests entirely with the adult. No child is responsible for being ill-use. Most sexually ill-use children are too frightened and scared of the consequences for themselves and their families.In most cases, they do not risk give tongue to another adult what is happening. As a result of this bottling-up, they grow into adulthood carrying feel ings of self-loathing, shame, and worthlessness. They tend to be self-punishing and have considerable difficulties with relationships and with sexuality. When problems and circumstances such as parental alcoholism, mental illness, child abuse, or extreme parental rigidity and control interfere with family functioning, the effects on children can sometimes linger long afterwards these children have grown up and left their problem families.Adults raised in dysfunctional families frequently newspaper publisher difficulties forming and maintaining intimate relationships, maintaining positive self-esteem, and trusting others they fear a loss of control, and deny their feelings and reality (Vannicelli, 1989). There is a great deal of variability in how often dysfunctional interactions and behaviors occur in families, and in the kinds and the hardness of their dysfunction. However, when patterns like the above are the norm rather than the exception, they systematically foster abuse and/ or neglect.Abuse and neglect inhibit the development of childrens trust in the world, in others, and in themselves. Later as adults, these population may find it difficult to trust the behaviors and words of others, their own judgement and actions, or their own senses of selfworth. not surprisingly, they may experience problems in their academic work, their relationships, and in their very identities. In common with other people, abused and neglected family members often struggle to interpret their families as normal. The more they have to accommodate to make the situation seem normal, the greater is their likelihood of misinterpreting themselves and developing negative self-concepts (e. g. , I had it coming Im a rotten kid). III. The relationship between organized religion and dysfunctional families Dysfunctional family members have common symptoms and behavior patterns as a result of their common experiences within the family structure. This tends to reinforce the dysfunctional b ehavior, either through enabling or perpetuation. The dysfunctional family usually suffers from a physique of issues that may require the help of trained professionals.This is in addition to prayer and other spiritual disciplines. Some of those issues include (1) Individual personality differences and personal issues (2) Unresolved issues from the past (3) Marital and family problems out-of-pocket to domestic violence and abuse, infidelity, and poor communication (5) Financial problems and poverty (6) Separation/divorce resulting in wo and loss and abandonment issues, depression, and sometimes a lack of financial support (7) Mental and physical health problems and (8) Spiritual disconnection.Any of the aforementioned problems can create high levels of distress, and failure to seek help can be lethal. Furthermore, when a major trauma strikes, families are rarely prepared to deal with it, and if they are new to seeking outside help, family members may never recover emotionally. Ma ny people arrest away from connecting with theology in a Christian community because they feel they are not advantageously enough. Maybe they are overly critical of themselves, or maybe they know they have not lived the way God would motivation them to live.They may be afraid that Christians in church will judge them and reject them, and so they stay away. They say, God couldnt really love someone like me. God must be angry with me. They could also be very adept at meeting the perceived expectations of others through self-denial. Denial, repression, splitting, and a imitative sense of self are often well-developed defense mechanisms. The black and white thinking expressed in such conflicting pairs of opposites as God vs. devil, church vs. world, sin vs.righteousness, leads to repression of anything that might possibly be construed as unacceptable. Constant self-monitoring and rigid self control, along with confession of every sin in prayer, are often considered the only means o f avoiding divine condemnation. In the literalism characteristic of fundamentalism, an evil thought or feeling is regarded as just as sinful as an evil act. Impulses and feelings may be considered demonic in origin. In truth, religion can play a part in furthering the dysfunction of families.For one who has a dysfunctional family, its teachings of obedience, respect for authority and quiet compliance further enforce the debilitating situation. But when you dig deeper into what religion is, you will see clearly what God wants. Religious Institutions throughout history have used fear, control and manipulation to build kingdoms made by man. They have left many wounded or stillborn in the battlefield of Satans kingdom. godliness is a fibrous tool of the enemy. An extreme example of this is The Taliban and Bin Laden.Religion teaches obedience to law. And Christ teaches grace. But the scripture has confined all under sin, that the promise by trust in Jesus Christ might be given to tho se who believe. But before faith came, we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed. Galatians 322-23. Learning to trust wholeheartedly in God, and depend on Him to break free from whatever bondage, will bring liberty from these bondages, and make an impact in our broken society.The church should be the one institution where the spirit of fear does not exist and coercion and manipulation are not practiced. IV. Healing dysfunctional families Two centuries past there was relatively little dispute over the existence of God, or the societally beneficial effect of familiar smell in a creator. In the twentieth century extensive secularization occurred in western sandwich nations, the United States being the only significant exception (Bishop Bruce Gill et al. Sommerville).Theists often assert that popular belief in a creator is instrumental towards providing the moral, ethical and other foundations necessary for a healthy, cohesive society . Many also contend that widespread acceptance of evolution, and/or denial of a creator, is contrary to these goals. As he helped initiate the American experiment Benjamin Franklin stated religion will be a powerful regulator of our actions, give us peace and tranquility within our minds, and render us benevolent, useful and beneficial to others (Isaacson 87-88).Changes in family life have transformed our society in the last thirty years. One of the biggest has been the virtual(prenominal) disappearance of the male-breadwinner lifestyle and the emerging dominance of the dual-earner couple. Working wives and mothers face questions about the effects of their choices on their childrens social welfare and their own health under the strain of the second shift, while their husbands confrontand respond to in a variety of waysnew opportunities to construct a masculine identity not focused exclusively on breadwinning.Leaders in education, business, and government debate what policies should be in place to help people manage their work and family lives and who should redeem the cost of work-family management. Changing patterns of family formation and disruption have also created widespread concern and vociferous insurance debates. High divorce rates raise questions about the effects of divorce on childrens well-being and future(a) success and how to make blended families work. The problems facing single-parent families have become a focus of policy makers, religious leaders, and the national media.Debates about homosexual unions have led to battles over gay and lesbian wedlock ceremony in a number of states and many local controversies over what legal rights should be extended to homosexual partners. slow down marriage and childbearing mean that more American households comprise single adults and unfruitful couples, and remaining childless throughout life has become much more common, fueling concern among some about the nightfall of the family. All of these cha nges have led to an increasing pluralism in family life and a new consensus that there are many kinds of loving, caring families.Most people spend some portion of their adult lives outside of a nuclear family, forming and reforming family-like connections periodically over the course of their lives, causing many to rethink long-held assumptions about the necessity of marriage and parenting for adults happiness, security, and well-being. But this pluralism is intensely contested and debated for both moral and social philosophical reasons. Not everyone agrees about what constitutes the good family and what kinds of families are morally legitimate.Many people see the family as the bellwether of our society and find the rapid and legion(predicate) changes in family life over the last few decades to be troubling. Some even argue that a devaluing of family life, and especially of lifelong, heterosexual marriage, inevitably leads to a decline of the nation. These debates also focus on que stions of resources and inequality. Who has access to the rights that marriage confers? Why does divorce lead to a reduction in women and childrens standard of living, and what can be done to change that? Making ChangesChanges in family life have been a central concern for religious leaders, activists, and local communities of faith. Throughout American history, religion and family have been intertwined and interdependent institutions. Congregations, parishes, and synagogues have provided an important context for families to spend time together and have shaped the religious education and moral development of children and youths. Sociologists have long remark that marriage and parenthood make religion more important to people and increase their participation in local congregations.Sometimes, children who come from dysfunctional families continue in their roles because they are waiting for their parents to give their permission to change. ilk most people, parents in dysfunctional fa milies often feel threatened by changes in their children. As a result, they may thwart efforts to change and insist that the children change back. Some specific changes one can do are (1) Identify painful or difficult experiences that happened during your childhood (2) Make a list of your behaviors, beliefs, etc.that you would like to change (3) Next to each item on the list, write down the behavior, belief, etc. that you would like to do/have instead (4) Pick one item on your list and begin practicing the swap behavior or belief. Choose the easiest item first (5) Once you are able to do the alternate(a) behavior more often than the original, pick another item on the list and practice ever-changing it, too (6) Believe in Gods grace that he will heal all the painful experiences in your list (in no.1) and pray His love will help you change all the behaviors listed and free you from bondage. References Bishop, George. (1999). What Americans Really Believe, and Why Faith Isnt as Un iversal as They Think. Free Inquiry 19(3) 38-42 Bruce, Steve. (2001). Christianity in Britain, R. I. P. Sociology of Religion 61 191-203. Forward, S. (1989). Toxic parents Overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life. New York Bantam Books. Gill, R, C. Hadaway and P. Marler 1998 Is Religious Belief Declining in Britain?Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 37 507-16 Isaacson, Walter. (2003) Benjamin Franklin An American Life. New York, Simon Schuster. Meeting the needfully of Dysfunctional Families Catechist, January, (1993) Sommerville, C. (2002) Starks Age of Faith Argument and the Secularization of Things A. Commentary. Sociology of Religion 63 361-72 Vannicelli, M. (1989). assort psychotherapy with adult children of alcoholics treatment techniques and countertransference. New York Guilford Press.